R6: Sex & drugs, missed sausage-rolls

Bad behaviour off-field, bad footy on field. Goals missed, laughable turnovers and ugly rolling mauls. That's the shape of footy this week. But that's pretty much footy as I've known it for about 5 decades.

Ross Lyon being allegedly genderly inappropriate, Dane Swan's non-sex-tape, Bomber getting allegedly sprung doing what allegedly everyone knew he's allegedly been doing for years.
I mean in terms of recent non-surprises I reckon the Big Three would have to be, in no particular order, Bomber, Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein.
And footy: well I didn't see much last weekend, but apparently it was universally bad enough for foetal positions to be taken, heads to be cradled in hands and cries of "we've got a problem" to be cried.
As a Melbourne supporter I thought that's how footy's meant to played.

So to the Drunk ladder. The only thing of import this week is that I've dropped out of the 8. Trobby and Phil are still poncing around on top, in fact look to be edging away from the field a little.
B.O.G. this week is Garth, up 11 spots and smashing his way back into the 8.
Biggest loser is Taffa, a.k.a. Panther, doing about as poorly as his Blueboys. Down 14.

R5: The Bump is back, and it makes disturbing viewing

A few bad bumps, counter bumps and a lot of confusion this week. Here are 3 of the more sickening. A word of warning: once you've seen these they cannot be unseen.

And if you thought that was bad you may not want to watch this one: 

But this is surely the most stomach-churning of them all:

Oh god, you just know they're swingers... 

How did these people ever become a dance troupe?

ANZAC Round: Almost my last post.

That was a long, long week of footy and thank god it's over. I only watched one game in its entirety this week and I didn't enjoy it one little bit. Was sorely tempted to walk away and keep walking.
Thankfully footy is bigger than footy. It's also the Drunk, and there were a few Drunk encounters this week - at the G on a stirring ANZAC Eve (stirring pre-game at least) and at PunchDrink 1 at The Corner last Thursday. Some very familiar and very old faces, a damn good night and here are some snaps to prove it.

The Ladder: Trobby and Phil are still hanging at the top of the tree, a little movement up and down in the ranks. Taffa the big slider, Titto the biggest riser. Franco, who it was great to see at the Drink has well and truly thrown himself into the mix with his 7.

R4: The Grand Old White Flag

When the going got tough this week half the teams in the league called a cab and went home. None more abruptly than The Demons. It was like it was their shout and they suddenly realised they'd left their wallets at home.
I could go on... in fact I will. More self indulgent rant here.

A bunch of badness...

A disturbance in the footy universe this week, unsettling results and a very disturbing thought: What if the Tigers can actually achieve two impossibilities in successive years? Not only winning a flag last year, but also NOT following through with the promised hang-over this year.

Here's what went wrong this week: The Pies won, Bombers won, North won. That's a pretty heinous start to anyone's week right there. And did I mention the Hawks/Dees match?

There's good news however, this week sees the annual Dons v Pies Anzac Day clash where, lest we forget, it's our national duty as Australians to heartily barrack for casualties by the end of the battle.

That brings us to The Drunk ladder which is slowly taking some sort of shape:

Drum Major Trobby is leading the troops this week, jumping three spots and pushing the Panther out of the tree. Phil Smith's hot on his tail and Lloydy's judgement is slightly better than mine to snare third. Taffa, Tassy, Ian and Frankie round out the top 8.

The big winner this week, however, is BobCatter Sammy, jumping 12 spots to be well within striking distance.

Biggest Loser this week was Franco SKN, down 9 after what you would have thought was a reasonable 5 correct tips.

Tara looks set for a good stayer's race, otherwise the field is pretty-well bunched a long way from the straight.