GOODWIN? BADLOSS!

Be careful what you wish for. Christmas presents are often highly disappointing.

There were five total give-up games this week. The Lions may have been the ugliest, kicking just 2 goals for the whole match and losing to the rampaging Tigers by 93 points, the Blues may have lost to the worst opposition, but the headline-grabber, and you really had to see it to believe it, was Melbourne gift-wrapping their game v the Hawks and handing it to them with a pretty big pink bow on top. A 21 point lead after the first 11 minutes, 5 goals in the first quarter and then one more for the rest of the match.   

What happened? What ails the Dees? Let’s get the kids’ microscope set out, find a comfy chair, grab a bowl of self-indulgence and take a quick look at these germs:

Goodwin: Match-day coaching is limited and his people-management skills are a tightrope walk at best. His handling of the Jack Watts debacle sparked concern. He’s all about making examples, sending messages and rewarding triers over talent. Just like a primary teacher. It’s a grouse idea Simon, but just select a team that will win the fucking games and stop trying to outsmart the players brains. Didn’t see a lot of triers Sunday, didn’t see a lot of talent either. Or brains.

Lever: Early days but at the moment looks like being a bit of a bust. Footy dept can’t work out what to do with him and worse he’s thrown the whole backline into disarray cos he’s limited and loose and no-one seems to know what their role is anymore, so Jetta, Hunt, Hibberd, usually super-reliable, are all way off. Didn’t stop a single goal on the weekend between them.

Lewis: Shouldn’t be playing, he’s slow, fumbly, sloppy, turns it over (not sure where this shizen that he’s pin-point comes from) and far from adding much-needed leadership he’s undisciplined. Was playing for the “Old Firm” again Sunday. Stay on the couch.

The ‘improving players’: Good last year these guys rely on top form to be even half decent and are all out of form together and have been all year (Harmes, Melksham, Neal-Bullen, Bugg etc). Why is everyone is off at the same time. Coach?

Selection/game plan: No-one in defence. Every time it got out of the Dees attacking 50 the Hawks kicked a goal (this was exactly 18 times). No concept of playing wet-weather-footy. Harmes (185cm) was selected and played as the only back-up ruck. Hogan’s great up the ground, as long as he has another Hogan to kick it to inside 50. Jones, the #2 attacking mid was used as a run-with tag on Mitchell (which he did well, but voided his own attacking value).

Seriously missing the ticker of Viney and the KPFness of Tom MacDonald.

And finally, we’re piss-weak. And I’m pissed-off.