2012 SEASON: FORD TAKES THE FLAG IN PHOTO FINSH

It doesn't come any closer fellow Drunks. 2 tipsters finishing on the same number of wins, separated only by a season of dubious margin calls. Fordy hangs on to win after an absolutely sensational lead-from-the-front season, from the equally consistent Justin 'Juzzy G' Graham.

Heart-felt commiserations to Juzzy. It's a situation I've been dreading for years, but the rules were carved in granite late last century and sit in a vault somewhere in a temple sitting on some rock in the Holy Land. There is after all only one PunchDrunk Cup, which can adorn only one Drunk's Office/Poolroom/Outhouse.

Having said all that, don't feel too sorry for the boy. He's taking 500 hard-earned Melbourne dollars back to his Sydney sleaze-pad.


Which brings us back to the main topic here: FORDY.
I'm not sure off the top of the head how many years he's been PunchDrunking, but it must be close to 10. That's 10 years of laying low, avoiding the spotlight and flying underneath the radar. With a bit of luck he'll turn up to his first ever PunchDrunk event and come to collect his prize, cos that cup doesn't go close to fitting into an envelope.

Well done Craig, that's one big ugly Tin Cup and a thousand smackers to you my friend. You came close a few years back, led most of the year and stumbled in the final round. Thank fark that didn't quite happen again.

And finally in 3rd spot, and picking up a juicy $250, after many, many years of Drunk diligence, is Ian 'Heylow' Stewart. Well done mate, all this and the dirty Crows in the finals. That's a big year for a young boy from Adelaide.

A bit lower down the 8, Stavros and Leah put in super final rounds, coinciding with Dickwad and Tassy's life-on-the-line, and somewhat less successful rounds.
In: Steve & Leah. Out: Dickwad & Tassy.

AND SO... THE FINALS

Here's the smorgasboard on offer this week. Top 8 tipsters only get to pick in the game corresponding with their finishing possie:

 

The Drunks in those first 2 games (the top 4) get the double chance.
For the others it's a knockout, instant death to the loser. We need a winner of your game, and the margin.

The first named Drunk in each game needs to pick an odd margin, the second named to pick an even margin. Go to it.

I'll put up the flow-chart for the full finals series when I get a chance to make one.

The Dream is over and we have a League of Drunks Premier. Jim Richo and his Cheesedale boys have nabbed their second (by my count) Flag. The reality is he was the highest finishing Drunk 2 years back, in our second Dream-season. In those days we had to fill the league with celebrity ring-ins, and from memory Dean Cox beat Richo in the GF that year. But a quick retrospective rule amendment that no-one over 6'10" was allowed to win, and voila... a flag for Richo. Now it's 2.

Hats off to Logger, who's been with us for 2 years and has looked the Real Deal from day one. 

Can't wait for next year. The Year of the Grudge.

 

HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVE...

A highly commendable effort by Coxy's Catfish in the bottom-half granny. His score of 2146 would have won several highly regarded DreamTeam comps going around. If he'd made the Logger's League Granny for example he would have won by 16 points. 

But he didn't, so he didn't.

HEY HO HEYLOW?

Can Ian get there at the death? Nah, probably not. But nice penultimate round to leap-frog Matt and sproing straight into third. It's always sad to see a Blues supporter endure pain and as such it's been a really sad week for all of us. Add to that pain Matty-Loves-Juddy's fall from the money-zone. Having said that, I'm pretty sure Fordy's a Blue-bagger (apologies for the slander if that's untrue mate) and he's not exactly hurting.

Of course Matty wasn't alone last weekend, Tassy and your's truly both went from hope to dope. We could have been anything. But weren't.

Both Juzzy and Ian have to catch up 2 games on Fordy this week to win the Cup, due to having inferior margin tallies. I can't see it with the games on offer, but then I picked 4 last week.

And so the season draws ever closer to its close. I reckon Mad Monday may fall on a sunday evening this year. It's been a long, tiring and dispiriting season, I even injured myself peeling garlic last week.

PUT IT IN YOUR DIARIES:

I'll whip up some kind of invite, but note this down: PunchDrunk Prize Night will be on Thursday Night, September 27th. See you there.

Mr September: ROBBIE McGHIE. Drunk Playmate of the Month

Former Doggie, Tiger and Swan, Robbie McGhie has bobbed up as the final Playmate this year. He was last year's PunchDrunk poster-boy, but I've double-dipped, mainly, I have to admit, due to discovering a shot which rivals my all-time favourite footy shot of a faggin' Robbie doing up his boots mid-MCG, possibly even mid-game (below).

 

The new shot is of Robbie downing a real TINNIE of VB, or Melbourne, or possibly VB on the hallowed turf. One of those real cans with the beautiful metal joinery and solder up the side, none of your smooooth seamless alubloodyminium here. The various exercises in hair self-expression just add to the magic, none more so than Robbie's sharpy number.

 

A couple of Drunks teeter on the precipice of greatness this week. Jim Richo and Andy "Logger" Lloyd.

The League of Drunks has dragged itself to Grand Final week. Richo has teetered there before and triumphed, can he take out his second LOD Premiership, having been best placed Drunk in 2010? Or can Logger, in his second year, scrawl his name on the imaginary teak Leaders' Board at PDHQ? Have the Cheesies got the depth at this end of the season to take the fast-finishing, finely tuned Loggers?

Questions, questions, questions and in true PunchDrunk tradition, absolutely no answers... We'll find out soon, but my long-held feeling than once the Loggers started rolling they may well be unstoppable has not dissipated.

Below is the trail of the dead...

And at the other end of the table, the Best of the Rest Granny will be a shoot-out between Coxy's catfish and Lygon St Limbo (I'm sure Matty-Really-Loves-Juddy-But-Can't-Stand-Ratts must have had a prescient epiphany just prior to conjuring that team name).

ROUND 21 CATCH UP: KANGA-WHOS?

Nice pick up on the weekend for those who chose the Kanga's. Of course we all thought it COULD go, but... Must be one of the more interesting results for the year. Does this mean the Kanga's are now a legit footy team. Damn, where did that come from? I hate those guys. Spent far too many afternoons with their unpleasant fans in that Docklands hell hole.

Fordy just keeps bustling on while the challengers stumble over each other to take that big step. Is it too early to call it? Maybe just. There are still a few contentious games ahead so you never know.
Minor places look to hold the most interest at the moment with Matt and Juzzy doing a bit of leapfrogging and, looming dangerously from the depths, last year's Club Champ Tassy on an absolute upward trajectory.
The final few spots in the 8 are still up for grabs, though even that is looking just a little harder.

My DreamTeam light has been extinguished, the thrill is gone. Joy is dead.

Shite form from all my former world-beater defenders + cruelty at the selection table + Swannie's indiscretion at the beer table = Decimation. Chimps out in straight sets. No back to back.

But seriously I hope the rest of you are having fun.

Here's what we've got. No second chances....

The 2 Big Cats baring their claws at each other.
And an interesting week down at Regent St, with Rob and Andy shielding their teams from each others' prying eyes.

And down here in the lower reaches, Catfish, having just missed the top 8 at the last roll of the dice, should be able toset up a nice Granny with Matt's Lygon St. You'd reckon.

ROUND 20: SOMEONE BETTER DO SOMETHING PRETTY QUICK.

Sorry to have missed last week's update, a bit too much juggling going on at the moment, and having trouble keeping my balls in the air.

It all looked a bit interesting there last time we spoke. Fordy looked to be doubting himself, there were a few new hats being thrown into the ring. Two long weeks have passed since then and we're pretty much back to normality.





You really can't begrudge Fordy a front-runner's win, he's been a shining light, but, well it's like the Melbourne Cup. You want a Kingston Town, or Hyperno to come looming like a shark from somewhere near mid-field to make everything interesting and worthwhile.
So who could snatch it? Juzzy? From memory he's a Tiger supporter. Not a great CV for a come-from-behind champ. But he lives in Sydney so may well be bank-rolled by the AFL. Watch this space.
Matty Loves Juddy? Blues supporter, so knows how to bend the rules without the media showing any interest. Could well have some AFL approved dodgy deal with the cardboard people who no-one else in the comp is allowed to have. Possibility.
Dickwad? Another Tiger. But may have the game-plan to break the lines. Relative new-comer with definite creds and consistency.
Kurtz? The veteran. This may be his chance. It's really just a hobby for him, but has the talent to do it between Chiantis.
Tassy looking for back-to-backs and has to be said is looming from the depths at the right end of the season. Also funniest bloke on FaceBook.
Ian. Adelaide supporter. Where the fuck did he/they come from? Been around for a while, don't remember him this high at this stage before, may yet get a blood nose, but like the Black Birds everything seems to be working.
Dick. Demons supporter. Say no more, in the beyond unlikely chance he can get there, he'll lose it in some tanking-related count-back. And be stripped of his solitary previous Drunk win. And all others going forward.
Coxy: Tiges
Phil: Dees
Brenna: Tiges
I could go on...
Leah, a Cat, seriously good consistently over the past 4 or so years... our first First Lady?

Gotta go home now. Good luck all.

Richo won the jackpot. Running out the door now. More soon.

Over

DANE SWAN: YOU ARE A PISSHEAD ARSEHOLE

Absolute fucking disaster at Camp Champ last weekend. First Swannie forgets to call Last Drinks, then Callan Ward pulls out his Ostentatious Pudenda and takes a few weeks off, Josh "Don't Quite Feel Like It This Week" Drummond gets 'sore' and then Chappy misses the plane.

Worst round of the year just in time for the finals. And now we face Logger's Rope-a-Dope Legends. Jeezus. Straight sets.

And so to this week:

Other Top Half Game, can the Hawkers take out the more fancied PussyBoy Conglomerate?

Bottom Half: Dirk's Snags v Alex's House of the Holy Sh1t, a few sharpened elbows in the MARS office this week boys?
And Kurtz's SENWs up against Fordy's Fordy. Kurtz is probably sunning himself in the 'Hai or Hawaii or somewhere, oblivious to his footy fate, so big chance for Fordy here.

 

Big picture stuff, if you have time...

Top Half.

Bottom Half.

FORDY IS TANKING TOO: BROCK

Just last week the Dalai said to me "Dick, sometimes the barest trees bear the sweetest fruit". We were over at mine drinking mojitos at the time, so I assumed he was talking about my lime tree, which confused me a little because a) you wouldn't really call limes 'sweet', and b) that tree is pretty damn fecund. But now I get it, as always there's more to his wisdom than meets the eye. He's a smart guy.

What he was trying to say in his awkward funny-talk way was this: Just when all looks lost, when the horizon seems barren, when all hope is hopeless. Just when you start to drop your head and think about next season, opportunity comes bounding up like a large labrador puppy. And it happened last weekend.

Fordy started tanking.

Yep, the mysterious Mr Ford who's led pretty much from round 1, failed to submit tips on the weekend. The man who's been just out of touch all year, has possibly moved into our sights. Certainly the past few days has seen Mr Juzzy G walking the dirty streets of Sydney with a skip to his step, betraying a decided schoolgirlish excitement. I know, you're right, that's not uncommon up there.

Mr Ford has yet been unavailable for comment.

Here's the wobbly chart:

Sadly for the rest of us, if ever there was a week for our leader to pull in the default non-tip "lowest of round" this was it. Lowest was a 7, so in reality he only dropped one game to most of the contenders, and more importantly kept the lead.

All this however had me dredging back though the archives to 2009. Fordy, the same Fordy when he wore a younger man's clothes, hit the lead at round 9 and held it all year. All year that is until the very final round, when young Sam leap-frogged me and pick-pocketed Craig (a move he learnt from watching 'Oliver', I believe). See below.

Surely this couldn't happen again. Surely.

AFL LEAK - VLAD'S INTERNAL EMAIL ON TANKING

First thing, this is not my work, I stole it from the Demonland site, where it was posted by a correspondent called pantaloons, but thought it was relevant and a good insight into the workings of the Evil Emperor's mind:


"What an exclusive I can break to you all on demonland. Andrew Demetriou's email addressing all things tanking to Adrian Anderson. Major news. Here we go:

Yo Adrian,

How's it going? Things are pretty sweet up here at the Olympics in London. I went to the badminton last night - awesome. Got some autographs at the basketball. But I could go on and on about the awesome time I'm having. I hear there have been some dramas around tanking in the last couple of days. Boy, thought we'd heard the last of this one. Oh well, I wrote this letter during the men's 100m freestyle final, so if you could put this out as a press release that'd be just great. Just edit where necessary. Try to make me look funny.

"Dear media members, AFL fans and employees who are back home enjoying our great game while I conduct important business in London. It is with great sadness that I must inform you that the AFL has today decided to administer some penalties in light of public comments made recently by Northern Bullants player Rock McLean. As a consequence, we have decided to harshly penalise the Melbourne Football Club for their flagrant tanking in, well, pretty much any game between 2007 and 2012. But more on that later.

Sadly, while strenuously digging around for evidence of Melbourne's foul play, we have discovered that they were not alone. It is with a heavy heart that the AFL hands down the following penalties to various clubs for breaches of the newly created Tanking Act:

Carlton: The Blues appear to have been the trailblazer for Melbourne's rorting. You can't tell me the Cruiser (look, I can't spell his name - you don't think having to deal with the pronunciation of bloody R Nahas on Brownlw night is enough?) Cup wasn't a little fishy. I seem to remember T Johnstone having something like 67 possessions and 6 Brownlow votes on the night. Total debacle. Where was Fev? No, not literally - I couldn't care less what he was doing at Crown that night - why was he dropped for the last 9 games? As a penalty, Carlton will be forced to swap their #1 pick from 2007, the aforementioned Cruiser, with Melbourne's #4 pick, Cale Morton. My apologies to Cruiser and his family.

Collingwood: It's very sad (but hilarious when considering what Eddie's reaction will be) to acknowledge, but Collingwood have been found guilty of some shenanigans of their own. Hmm, losing the last 9 games of 2005 while stuck on 5 wins eh? Didn't think we'd pick up on that one, did you? And just two years removed from back to back grand final chokes no less. Collecting Thomas at 2 and Pendlebury at 5 was a hefty return. Given that Pendlebury won the 2010 Norm Smith, and no one was fooled by calling him Embleberry up there on the stage, we've decided to strip the Pies of the 2010 premiership. (Adrian, let me know when it's safe to come home. PS. Don't read that last bit out.)

Hawthorn: Like Collingwood, the Hawks will have to surrender their most recent premiership triumph. Such was their willingness to send players off for season-ending operations in 2004 in great number, numerous children missed out on hospital beds for life-saving operations. Please note, steel reinforcement has been added to the walls of the MCG coaches boxes.

West Coast: See the last two. 2006 premiership cup: gone. Blatant malarkey required to get into position to draft Chris Judd, let alone NicNat. Couldn't get em for 'recreational reasons' in 2006, nailed em here.

Adelaide: the Crows will be forfeiting the 1997 premiership. Before half of SA chokes on a Farmers Union iced coffee, squealing about not doing anything wrong, ask yourselves - how many times has Shane Ellen played in the forwardline before or since the '97 Grand Final? Positional experimentation is for after hours, not grand finals, thank you very much.

St. Kilda and the Bulldogs: One premiership each? Really? Nice try. You now have zero each.

Richmond: like the last two, you are an embarrassment to the competition, and not just for introducing the roar-o-meter to the AFL. Two finals appearances since 1982, and this in an era when we've rigged it so half the teams make the finals. We punish Richmond and its supporters by allowing the club to continue as is.

Brisbane: You weren't fooling anyone with the 'we only want 8 Fitzroy players' shtick. What, couldn't find a spot for Jason Ramsey or Brent Frewen? Could have been a five-peat (we would have bankrolled it too). You lose the 2001 premiership. Well, no, we need the game in Queensland. Just change your logo, would you? It makes me hungry.

Essendon: since 2008, only Richmond and Essendon have disgraced the stae of Victoria by losing to Melbourne. You want to debate that Michael Hurley s better than Jack Watts? Fine, he's a Melbourne player now.

Fremantle: LOL! All the advantages afforded to an interstate club in an AFL-mad city and you've made the finals thrice? For being the perennial skidmarks on the AFL's underpants for 18 years and without any accomplishments to remove the Dockers must revert to their original clown suit uniform.

Port Adelaide: playing the kids eh? Hmm, Chad Cornes and Dean Brogan excelling at GWS - clearly flogging players off before their use by date. AFL license is hereby revoked. (Adrian: phew, that was easy - I've been wanting to do that for a while).

Geelong: one of the more I sickening cases of tanking I've seen. The corruption not only of the sport, but of the female womb. How long did it take to establish this "father-son academy"? How many women tanked themselves out of regular relationships to take part in this production line of prodigies? All three premierships from the modern era are hereby removed.

Sydney: (just leave this bit out, Adrian. No one will count the teams anyway).

And so we come to Melbourne. This hotbed of treachery and asking is met with the swift hand of the law. All premiership points for 2012 to be stripped, and their #1 pick from 2009 taken away. They will however be given an additional priority pick at the start of the first round in consequence of their third wooden spoon in five years.

We hope this is a warning to all teams, not just Melbourne, of the seriousness of tanking.

Yours sincerely,

Sir Andrew Demetriou (just watched the equestrian with the Queen - think I talked her into it)"

Thanks Adrian -AD"

Interesting week ahead for DreamTeamers this week. It's the final week before the finals and there's a 3-way battle for the last 2 spots in the 8. And as many as 5 Drunks tussling for the all-important 4th spot, with its double-chance.

Here's what happened last week:

And hereare the highhlights of what's on the menu for this week: 

Demonskis need to beat the Mongrels to stay in the running for 4th, and looking at last week's scores that should be a ring-a-ding-ding battle.

Next 2 games, well, I don't want to be impolite, but doesn't really matter.

Then the Big One, Catfish v Coreys. Coxy's boys with have to be at their best to knock of the JCEs and stay safe in the 8, because.....

You'd reckon Logger's boys would burn Dirk Currysnags and bound eight-ward, with his superior percentage.

My Chimps should hopefully be able to wipe out Sh1thouse, but we've had 4 selected players not bother turning up in past 3 weeks, so you just never can tell. Win that one and Chimps stay top 4.

Brenna's against top-of-table Cheese, should be a quality hit-out. Can the B-Boys jump to 4th?

Pete's Hawkeyes should be able to do Grant's PapaGs. Prediction: Hawkeyes to finish in the 8, but not the 4.

Hope you can make it down to the old Union Club Hotel next thursday for the second PunchDrink. I'm well-overdue to bend an elbow with my buddies. As usual let me know if you can make it, I'll book a table, but would be handy to know how many will be sitting at it.

R17 RE-CAP... SAME AS R16.

It always gives one a warm feeling to watch Essadun lose. Even more-so when it results in an early against-the-flow tip win. But just like last week my early tipping gains were wiped out. This week courtesy of a last-minute tip-change (farkin Swan McKay had me convinced 2 min before the bounce that no way could the Hawks defence hold up against the Pies power-house forward line. Idiot.) And a combo of Shaun Grigg's bouncing kick and Drew Petrie. And according to the Tigers fans watching some dubious umpiring at the behest of a vengeful Giesch.

The up-shot is that with the past 2 rounds over, seemingly the first all season where there was some variance in tipping, not much on the ladder has really changed. A lot of familiar faces in the top 8. Juzzy G has definitely moved within striking distance. Logger is looking poised and Lee has worked his way into the 8, and contention at the right end of the season.
Otherwise it's Snakes'n'Ladders from third to about 18th. Take one wrong step and you're in freefall baby. As Coxy and Brenna found out this week. BUT there is also the chance of easy redemption as Ian and Dickwad discovered.

The JACKPOT went bang again this week. Jesper and Cath each weaved their way through the pack to come out unscathed at the end, and they walk away with a WOPPING $30 each.

DREAMTEAM

 

Only 2 rounds to go before the finals so time is running out. Logger has 2 weeks to replace one of the bottom 3 Drunks currently in the 8. As I pointed outlast time, he has the highest number of points, but bizarrely he's still sitting 9th. Can't work that one out at all.
Cheesies are pretty-much home and hosed as Minor Premiers you'd think, the other point of interest is finalising the top 4. Basically anyone from 2nd -7th could be in the 4, or out. Which brings us to this weeks match-ups:

The in-form Mongrels should have SEWN's measure to leave a top-spot challenge alive. Demonski's should get a leg-up in their bid for top 4 against AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!!! Coxy's Catfish will be looking to make his 8 spot safer against Ian's EveryOdds, who aren't easybeats. Loggers top-8 dreams should be still alive after their bout v Fordy. The JCE's, Champs and Cheesies you'd reckon should all shore-up there possies. Which leaves Lygon St and Hawkeye as the match of the round. Matty can't make it, but his boys can put a stick in Pete's spokes and help out Logger.

FOOTY GODS GO MISSING

Last weekend was one of THOSE rounds for me.
If Shiny Hope and Bitter Disappointment met and had a love-child, it could well have turned out just like last weekend.

Everything started well, an against the odds win friday night. The Ziebells intent on getting the the ball come what may, the Juddies with a cowardly eye on de-boning and stuffing their opponents. Dick moves from 7th to 6th. Nice.

Saturday, things were pretty much going to plan tips-wise, AND the jagged promise-line of projected scores had my Chimps winning all 4 of their Dreamteam league games. Hi five.

Even the Dees, though I didn't tip them, started well, at Docklands, The Terror Dome, a venue they can’t win at. As a Dees supporter of course I didn’t go along. Not because it’s too far or too hard. In fact I find it quite lovely, rather like going to watch the footy at Hamer Hall. I’m sure one could even get a plastic glass of the finest Yellowglen if one's heart desired.
No. It’s because watching the Dees play there roughly equates to staying conscious to watch your own appendectomy. Pure pain, no upside. I’m sure you could do it, but why would ya? Sure, go have your appendix out if you want, but don’t watch it happen would be my advice.

The weekend started to turn at around the 10 minute mark of that match, the Russian went down and by 3/4 time things started going a tad pear-shaped.

My gut had told me to go Lions, and my head couldn’t concentrate long enough to change the tip. But with 10 minutes or so to go in the last the Lions were hanging in for another upset. AND hey, win this one and I’m sitting second and only 2 adrift of Fordy....

At this point the footy gods went missing totally. Didn’t get another touch for the rest of the round. The Saints got up and headed off looking for schoolies. The Chimps started running out of legs, losing 3 of their 4 games. The Swannies (gut) smashed the Eagles (head), and I slid back to where I started. 7th. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother even getting up in the morning.

God damn you footy gods, where were ya? Do a decent pre-season you over-paid poseurs.Put in or get off!

This is we we are:
Almost the same as last week, except Logger has started making his move, and Phils back in the 8 too. Out go Dickwad and Ian.

ROUND 15. THE BIG CATCH-UP.

It's been way too long since we spoke, sorry.
There's been way too much koyaanisqatsi in Dick-land of late. Trying, and failing, to balance business, stay-at-home parenting and the Drunk.

Having said that, nothing much has changed over the past 4 weeks. The top 8 is still the top 8, slightly rejigged. There have been far too few toss-up games and far too little sticking out of necks. How the hell are we s'posed to catch Fordy at this rate.

But sometimes an ounce of neck-sticking can bring a bucket of bucks. Last week Joff and Ben split the jackpot, to the tune of $50 each. Yep, small bucket. While most of us were smugly sitting on 8/8 up til the Roos v Saints outing, they zagged when the rest zigged and watched the Roos romp home with $ in their eyes. Congrats chaps.



SELF-BELIEF, HOPE & DELUSION
Just three of the words that come to mind. Yes, the Drunks bucks have started dribbling in, and most of those who've paid have rolled the dice, crossed their fingers and paid for the finals in advance.
Sadly that Special One-Time-Only Offer is closed now.

We have a dedicated page to keep the finger on the pulse of those paid up. If at any stage you reckon YOUR name should be on that page and it isn't, let me know.

Mr. July: BRENT CROSSWELL 'Drunk Playmate of the Month

Mr July: Brent Crosswell. Boy from Tassy, a genie of a player, part-time philosopher, full-time enigma. Multiple-premiership player. Another free-spirit from the 60's/70's who would likely have been squeezed out of colourless, odourless modern, moralising football.

Times change, expectations shift. Was it really so long ago when it was the footballers who drank, smoked and fucked everything they could and not the priests.

L-R. 1- Brent Crosswell: The Man Without a Face.  2- Many a bust-up with Ronald Dale, but followed him from Blues - Roos - Dees.  3- The man had everything, shit-hot boots, a pie and a chauffer-driven chair.

 Definitely getting to the action-end here.

In the Battle of the Pivot, the top cats fought it out last weekend, with Sammy holding sway against the previously undefeated Cheesies. But, looking at last week's scores, it's Rob's Mongrel bastards that seem to be shaping as the real danger.

The biggest question to me is the Loggers. Highest total number of points, but not even cracking the 8 at this stage. Wouldn't happen in a meritocracy.

Looks like a coin-toss for the bottom two spots in the top 4 to me. Some good games this week too:

Catfish v Mongrels (7th v 4th), Logger should get a leg-up from the Aaaaaaaaaghs, Brennas v Demonskis (5th v 8th), Pete's unheralded but rapidly improving Hawkeyes (6th) v Sammy's JCEs (2nd), nothing much separating their scores last week. And the Cheesies to be (hopefully) challenged by the Champs (1st v 3rd).


Oh jeez it's exciting.....

LETS HAVE A CHAT ABOUT MONEY

I put up a little post at the start of the season, which I'm sure no-one noticed/read/remembers that talked about paying yer dues. In fact there's a stand-alone permanent page devoted to PRIZEMONEY in the "Pages" section over yonder right. The deal's pretty much the same as always, except this year there's the option of a pre-pay discount for those brave/cocky enough to believe by the season's half-way mark (or Round 13) they can make the top 8.
If that's you, save $10 and pay up your yearly dues by the end of R13, including your $10 for the finals (you don't it get back if you bomb out). So that's a total of $70.

Anyone not keen to stick their neck out that far can pay up their $60 now, or by season's end, and fork out an extra $20 at finals time, if they make it. Simple.

I'll send you an email with bank details. They're the same as last year if you still have those numbers tucked away.

ROUND 11. HEY, WHERE'D ALL THE GAMES GO?

THE AFL MUST THINK WE'RE FOOLS. "Let's play fewer games but play them over more days, so people think they're actually getting MORE footy." Friday to Monday one week, Thursday to Sunday the next. Interesting idea, we just may be foolish enough for it to work.

I WENT TO THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND JELLYBEAN BIRTHDAY PARTY GAME on monday, where I watched the Dees win every quarter they played against the kids in the B/W Stripes. Unfortunately they seemed to have missed their invitations to the first quarter and their mummies picked them up early from the party at the start of the last quarter so they only played 2 quarters. But they won them both.

LANCE ARMSTRONG CALLED PUNCHDRUNK HQ this week, and left a message for Ian: "Hey mate, they're onto me. You'd better chuck out that bag of goodies I left with you and lay off the magic needles" Not sure exactly what he meant but it may go some way towards explaining the red line on the chart below:

Otherwise, not a heap of movement. And of course our wobbly ladder's already out of date, since they popped in a sneaky thursday night game, which no-one was ready for. Fordy just keeps on keeping on.

The first of three horror rounds negotiating the byes is down. A round that brought to mind the days of playing 14 a side at primary school. Playing without pockets.
Playing without backs or forwards in some cases for that matter. Anyway, only 2 more rounds of that to go. I don't know about you guys but all my 100+ scorers are down at the beach this weekend.

ROUND 10 WRAP.

Well, the footy spoke for itself last week. Which is great because there's a whole lot of nothing from me again this week. Other than it's nice to see the media rifle-sights moving from the good old Dees to the newly crowned losers, the Roos. It's musical chairs really, pass the parcel. Last team to unwrap the hap is the haplessest. The relentless news-cycle moves on like a tornado.

Watching the Tiges v Saints game, followed by the Dees v Bombers game certainly gave my foofer valves a serious workout and got the smiling glands active again too. The Dees of course, but geez I just love the way the Tiges go about it too.

Nice to see a few Drunks last thursday night at the Union, always the best company in town. We'll do it again in a couple of months, and in the interim take a quick straw poll on venues. Some talk about finding an alternative southside venue as an occasional alternative.
Personally I just love getting a bit of Northside back in the veins. I mean, how many grey bobs and mercs can a bloke stand without respite. Not to mention leaf-blowers, the jet-ski of the leafy suburb.

And so to this:

Fordy's been sitting on our heads, a-la Shaun Smith, most of the year, but finally he's got to himself. Matty zigged when he should have zagged and lost his man.

That's it really. Interesting 3 weeks with the byes, especially for the DreamTeamers.

I'll start talking about collecting buck$, including the pre-pay discount for finals, until after the byes I reckon, so end of R13.

Playmate of the Month: MR JUNE, ROBBIE 'Mad Dog' MUIR.

This weeks Playmate is the scariest man since Deadly Ernest. Robbie "Mad Dog" Muir. A devil in Saints clothing. His career spanned, 1974-1984, playing only 68 games in that time, and rubbed out for almost as many.  Reported 13 times, suspended 22 weeks including 12 weeks for THIS ONE. I gotta agree with Mr Dog, that bump didn't look so bad.

And I remember watching THIS ONE, spell-bound as it unfolded. This is a short version, I remember him chasing several fans around, like some rabid dog. I was on the other side of the telly screen and still shat myself.

But even madness and badness can be turned to good. In 2006 Muir became involved in umpiring in an amateur league which was notorious for its players who disrespected officials. No word as to whether it worked.

But madness and badness usually floats back up to the top a bit like a fibre-rich poo in a toilet bowl.

Mr June. Mad Dog Muir. A floater.

ROUND 9 WRAP

Sorry to have missed last week. I figure there's enough crap being written about footy at the moment without adding to it.

Here's where we're at with the ladder. Fordy back on top. Matt tussling it out with him. The rest of us waiting under the table for some scraps.

 

Hope to see some of you/all of you tonight. Not unusual that it's been a DM fail so it'll be a lovely surprise to see who turns up. You gotta love surprises. I'll be latish, but there's a table booked under 'Richard' for 7pm in the dining room as usual.

ROUND 7 REVIEW

Not much for you today, apart from the fact we've got a new leader this week, by the tiny space between 2 letters of the alphabet (D v F).
There are 5 Drunks sitting out there on 50 this week. Very generous of last week's leaders to each drop an extra game and lull the rest of us. And good to see the 'turn-up' game still exists.

 

Other than that I don't think I can add to your weekends. I'm looking forward to splitting some jugs and some well-priced vino with you all in a couple of weeks though. I'm feeling very live-and-let-live this week so I hope your team wins*, but your tipping fails miserably. 

* Unless you're a Dons, Pies or Blues fan, or, especially if I'm watching their home games on telly, a Crow. Or GWS.