And so it comes to this. Here we all are sandwiched between an Alexis and an Alex.
How did this happen? I hear you ask. It's quite simple - they are either better than us, or worse than us. And we are only as good as us.
(Alex is there, he's just fallen back and dropped off the chart is all).
BUT wait, there is still one round for a challenger to emerge spectre-like from the shadows. A Steven Bradbury brandishing a sharpened ice-skate rising form the ice-floe.
The final round or two are traditionally full of upsets (clearly lacking last week, where 44% of all tipsters got either a perfect 9 or an 8). The trick of course is to select where the upset will fall.
Lex is doubly well-placed. She has a lower margin total than her immediate rivals and a one game buffer. It's going to take guts, a lot of luck or a very big bribe to pull it off.
For the record Lex is only bettered in the points total by Derek (other than those way lower down who have received multiple zeros by not entering their tips). Bob Catter needs to make up one game and do 41 points better tonight. Ando needs 1 game and a miracle or to make up 2 games, Matt needs 2 games and a 37 point improvement, and Lloydy, Taffa, Phil and Juzzy need a goddam miracle.
Juzzy of course goes by the nom-de-tip of The Devil, and he may have the contacts to pull it off. If you get scared easily turn away now. Here's Juzzy's status as we speak. Just check out his total points, or I guess you could call it the The Devil's number...
And also there's all the proof you need that the Devil can't be photographed too.
Good luck and good tipping to all. Good luck to the Tigers.
Good riddance to another joyless and sapping home and away season for me and my boys.
29.8.14
The final battle in a parallel universe...
Apologies to all League of Drunks Dreamteamers. My negligence has known no bounds this year.
I'll split the blame between myself, and the shit set-up the AFL had this year. I spent the first half of the season basically either unable to access the main Fantasy site due to traffic/slow servers, unable to access from my phone cos they push you to their app, which stopped working at all on my phone after a couple of weeks because I had an 18 month old iPhone. Frankly I got so fwustwated I lost total interest.
Just one of the many ways in which the League is diluting footy pleasure by adding layers of shit which just get in the way of simple enjoyment. "Come and watch your fantasy players LIVE" indeed!
But final rant done, we are now about to witness greatness. Lloydy's Lads v Cheesedale. Andy Lloyd against Jim Richo in a fight to the death. Just like last year. I can't remember off the top of my head who lived and died last year. But this time it's for real.
Here's how the finals have panned out so far:
I'll split the blame between myself, and the shit set-up the AFL had this year. I spent the first half of the season basically either unable to access the main Fantasy site due to traffic/slow servers, unable to access from my phone cos they push you to their app, which stopped working at all on my phone after a couple of weeks because I had an 18 month old iPhone. Frankly I got so fwustwated I lost total interest.
Just one of the many ways in which the League is diluting footy pleasure by adding layers of shit which just get in the way of simple enjoyment. "Come and watch your fantasy players LIVE" indeed!
But final rant done, we are now about to witness greatness. Lloydy's Lads v Cheesedale. Andy Lloyd against Jim Richo in a fight to the death. Just like last year. I can't remember off the top of my head who lived and died last year. But this time it's for real.
Here's how the finals have panned out so far:
Yep, that's a maggot right there!
Last week's head was a juicy combo of George Pell and a Maggot.
I know what you're thinking, "where does one head end and the other begin?" or maybe, "What a seamless piece of photoshop. Are there really two different heads combined there?"
Well, yes, ladies and germs, two heads, one species. That's art mirroring reality once again.
If pieces of shit had heads I may have used that instead of the hapless maggot. Why demean maggots by comparing them to Big George, the truck-drivers' friend?
Well, here's a turn-up. Harv didn't trouble the scorer, Taffa got one therby going some way towards bridging the gap. With thankfully one head to go, reckon Harv's safe:
I know what you're thinking, "where does one head end and the other begin?" or maybe, "What a seamless piece of photoshop. Are there really two different heads combined there?"
Well, yes, ladies and germs, two heads, one species. That's art mirroring reality once again.
If pieces of shit had heads I may have used that instead of the hapless maggot. Why demean maggots by comparing them to Big George, the truck-drivers' friend?
Well, here's a turn-up. Harv didn't trouble the scorer, Taffa got one therby going some way towards bridging the gap. With thankfully one head to go, reckon Harv's safe:
22.8.14
Round 21 all washed up.
We're nearly there now folks. Elvis left the building for me months back. It didn't stop me from further damaging my psyche on sunday by going to what was, I kid you not, THE absolutely worst game of football ever played by human beings, and I've seen more than my fair share of them over the past 5 years.
No big moves this week. Fordy could have jumped to the top rung on friday night if his Blues had managed to hold out the Cats. The umps have been fielding irate calls and rude emails from him all week.
Ando continues his viagra-like rise, now in third.
What to expect this week?
No big moves this week. Fordy could have jumped to the top rung on friday night if his Blues had managed to hold out the Cats. The umps have been fielding irate calls and rude emails from him all week.
Ando continues his viagra-like rise, now in third.
What to expect this week?
15.8.14
R20 wash-up: What just happened?
Suddenly everything's changed. A week's a long time in footy tipping. 3 different leaders in 3 weeks.
Now, early leader Lex, who seemed to get mid-season weariness and took a little holiday, has more than sprung back into contention, she's pole-vaulted from 12th to first again in the past 4 weeks, taking out a very healthy Jackpot of $180 on the way through. She's now one game clear of the pack and looking mean.
On top of that, apart from Sam 'Bob Catter' who's been thereabout for weeks, suddenly it's Fordy and more surprisingly Ando, who's jumped from 26th to 4th (in, what is that? 5 weeks?) that look the next most likely. I think Ando's been getting some tips from his old mate Steve Dank.
Now, early leader Lex, who seemed to get mid-season weariness and took a little holiday, has more than sprung back into contention, she's pole-vaulted from 12th to first again in the past 4 weeks, taking out a very healthy Jackpot of $180 on the way through. She's now one game clear of the pack and looking mean.
On top of that, apart from Sam 'Bob Catter' who's been thereabout for weeks, suddenly it's Fordy and more surprisingly Ando, who's jumped from 26th to 4th (in, what is that? 5 weeks?) that look the next most likely. I think Ando's been getting some tips from his old mate Steve Dank.
Heads and Balls
The last head was all about beating Harv, at any cost. It worked, but now I feel a little dirty.
3 Heads, not 2. Each one a twin. But which twin from each pair?
Eagle Mitch Brown, not his Magpie bro. Steve Febey, not Matt, even though it looks a little like him. And Donald Cockatoo-Collins, I'm sure you remember him and his twin David. I think they got 3 games between them, but if my memory serves they played one game together in the same team as both the Febeys. I think that may be worth remembering next time you want a trivia question.
Seems neither Harv nor Taffa got close. Harv had nuthin', Taffa went for Goddard, when I told him it was a combo of 3 heads he went for 3 Goddards.
3 Heads, not 2. Each one a twin. But which twin from each pair?
Eagle Mitch Brown, not his Magpie bro. Steve Febey, not Matt, even though it looks a little like him. And Donald Cockatoo-Collins, I'm sure you remember him and his twin David. I think they got 3 games between them, but if my memory serves they played one game together in the same team as both the Febeys. I think that may be worth remembering next time you want a trivia question.
Seems neither Harv nor Taffa got close. Harv had nuthin', Taffa went for Goddard, when I told him it was a combo of 3 heads he went for 3 Goddards.
1.8.14
Round about 19. Pretty exciting at the top. All I can see from where I am is other peoples arses.
Last week's form guide is either totally out of date already, or completely prescient. I haven't looked back to check to honest.
So, I turned the telly on last night at about 7.55 and there was a footy game about to start. Who knew? Most of you did apparently. No-one told me, it was a thursday for godsake.
Anyway, Telstra had disconnected all my phones and internet yesterday morning, they do that now if you're 2 weeks overdue apparently. Just cut you off. And charge you for a reconnection. And they can't answer a fucking phone within 25 minutes. Ever, And then they tell you 'the system's down, please call back later' after you've already waited for half an hour.
The worst thing is when they do call you to tell you you're overdue, you answer the phone and there's a robot on the other end who checks your credentials (Hey, you fucking called me, robot. On MY phone, I should be the one checking your credentials. When your birthdate arsefaced tin-head?). Then they put you on hold for ages 'til they can find a human. Is it just me who thinks that's rude? Anyway I have no time for that, I'm a busy man, so I hang up. Robot cries.
So anyway, because the Telstra robot hates me and cut me off in the morning I had really slow internet in the evening. Hence I couldn't get my tip in in the last 48 seconds before they bounced the ball. Hence my default tip was Carlton to win by zero points. I would have got it too if that deadshit Wood hadn't passed it to Freo's Neale with 90 seconds to go. Goal. No wonder he can't get a game.
And another thing, why did Carlton get to wear their home jumper? As the away team? Because it's not an even playing field that's why.
It's snowing outside. I have to walk to the tram soon.
But in good news, for some, here's the ladder:
Check it out. Phil Smith's made a audacious dive for the front, Lex has pulled 6 from somewhere miraculous in a 3 kinda round, Franco's lurched from the edge of nowhere to the fringe of fabulous. And bugger me backwards, Ando, who I had in my sights as I sought to jump into the top 25, has pulled out 2 psycho weeks and found himself 2 games from victory.
I'll never understand how this thing works.
So, I turned the telly on last night at about 7.55 and there was a footy game about to start. Who knew? Most of you did apparently. No-one told me, it was a thursday for godsake.
Anyway, Telstra had disconnected all my phones and internet yesterday morning, they do that now if you're 2 weeks overdue apparently. Just cut you off. And charge you for a reconnection. And they can't answer a fucking phone within 25 minutes. Ever, And then they tell you 'the system's down, please call back later' after you've already waited for half an hour.
The worst thing is when they do call you to tell you you're overdue, you answer the phone and there's a robot on the other end who checks your credentials (Hey, you fucking called me, robot. On MY phone, I should be the one checking your credentials. When your birthdate arsefaced tin-head?). Then they put you on hold for ages 'til they can find a human. Is it just me who thinks that's rude? Anyway I have no time for that, I'm a busy man, so I hang up. Robot cries.
So anyway, because the Telstra robot hates me and cut me off in the morning I had really slow internet in the evening. Hence I couldn't get my tip in in the last 48 seconds before they bounced the ball. Hence my default tip was Carlton to win by zero points. I would have got it too if that deadshit Wood hadn't passed it to Freo's Neale with 90 seconds to go. Goal. No wonder he can't get a game.
And another thing, why did Carlton get to wear their home jumper? As the away team? Because it's not an even playing field that's why.
It's snowing outside. I have to walk to the tram soon.
But in good news, for some, here's the ladder:
Check it out. Phil Smith's made a audacious dive for the front, Lex has pulled 6 from somewhere miraculous in a 3 kinda round, Franco's lurched from the edge of nowhere to the fringe of fabulous. And bugger me backwards, Ando, who I had in my sights as I sought to jump into the top 25, has pulled out 2 psycho weeks and found himself 2 games from victory.
I'll never understand how this thing works.
When I put these heads together it was vaguely topical. That was then, this is now. The AFL has conspired with itself to make this as passé now as... well as passé as the AFL, by sticking an extra weekend into last week. God. When will this season end? 2 or 3 weeks back there was a World Cup. From memory the Germans won. Joachim Loew was the Svengali behind the win. No-one cares anymore. It was quite a comforting thing actually, they looked just a pack of stringy white krauts from the 70's. They did a monkey dance mocking the Argentinians like they would have in the 40's. If you're on a good thing....
Roosy's there because, just like JiggaLoew, he looks good in slacks and a brown bob.
I'll tell you who's on a good thing... Harv. 2 more this week.
You got to hand it to Taffa he keeps trying. He went for Bomber Thompson this week. He either needs to get over his Essadun-hATE thing (I can talk) or get new glasses.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)