DRUNK BOOKS

Here are all the financial Ins and Outs from this season. With 2 days to the Granny we're nearly fully accounted for. We're just currently negotiating exchange rates and import/export deals with a Drunk living in NYC, and we're there.

And here too all this year's beneficiaries, big and small.

Fittingly the 'Drunk Balance Sheets are a tad more drunk, than balanced, so for the first time we've found a little bit down the back of the couch for a couple of bottles and a few jugs for tonight's Gala. And if the last few cents don't come in today there'll be some to kick off next season's family day, or first Drink.

Cheers all, it may have been the worst year in footy history, but there's still cash and alcohol.

Ain't it Grand

It's not always easy having to tip in a game featuring your team. More-so if it's the one you need to win to make the Granny.
Leah put herself in the unfortunate position of hoping her Cats got whooped by the Poos and Wees. For her it was a lose/lose situation. Her team lost, but not by enough.
Loyalty wasn't a big thing with Lee either, he tipped against his Swannies by a little less than Logger, but sadly for him they lost by even more.
And so Andy 'Logger' Lloyd gets the chance to redeem his loss in the Home&Away, against Corey who's loomed from nowhere to be contending for Grand Final glory.
Andy can't bear to watch. He headed to Chinaland before the Prelims and he aint coming home until he wins something.

The tips, the scores, the laughter, the tears:

And this is how we got here:

Good luck to both those gentlemen.

SEMI'S DUSTED

Richo's river of luck ran dry this week. He's out, gawn. Will have to content himself with floating in the ocean of money he's already won. Early season leader Lee keeps his chances alive to pull on the figurative boots Grand Final day. He could even be there with his Swannies.

On the other side of the ledger, Leah's Cats got her over the line, by being only so good, and no more. Cath was getting inexorably closer to success all year, and then BANG suddenly she's exorable. Where'd that come from? But once again a former leader in Leah is still in it to win it.

And so to this: Corey and Leah to battle it out, as do Lee and Logger.

 And then, from there:

Click: dinner & show.

That was the show, here's the dinner:

 PunchDrunk Prize Night. 

Union Club Hotel

Corner Webb and Gore St Fitzroy.

Anytime you can make it from about 6.30 onwards, Thursday 26/9/13.

Prize-gifting around 8.30. Probably.

FINALS

1st week of Finals done and dusty, second week upon us. Logger seems to have his luck back, and Corey, who's been flying way beneath the radar this year, were the big winners and earn a week off.

Sadly Tas and Stav both failed to get up in their elimination bouts and are out.

Which means Richo and Leah having lost, and Lee and Cath, after winning their eliminations slug it out like this:

And here's the overall Grand Plan. Good luck all.

THE CAT-BURGLAR... Richo gets the cheese.

For anyone who hasn't got around to checking the charts a lazy 4 days later, I have some BIG NEWS: Jim 'Richo' Richardson from Cheesetown down past Geelong, the man who's been lurking around under the guise of the coach of Cheesedale in the Dreamteam for the past 5 years, will have his name scratched onto the PunchDrunk perpetual trophy.

Yes, Richo has pinched the Cup.

Pinched? Well yes and no. He actually made his move way back in round 10 and has been the best-performed Drunk over the past 13 rounds, doing one better than even Logger over that period til the start of round 23. He drew even (when he may have got a little lucky) with Carlton stealing the game against Port in the second game of the final round. Then stormed one clear in the second last game of the season, when North whacked the Pies.

Now that's timing.

Here's a pic of Richo gloating over his arguably ill-gotten silverware. I know he feels a bit of christian guilt (I have no idea if he's christian though). Wait til he finds out he's been ripped off. The cup ain't silver, it's chrome-plated tin. And the chrome's coming off. But he's clearly been planning this for a while, this shot was taken back in 2009.

Now, let's take a small minute to think about the unluckiest man in the world last week, Andy Logger Lloyd:

 1. He led for the past 6 weeks, getting as many as 2 clear. He lost it with 2 hours of the season to go.

2. He looked like the logical winner of PunchDrunk's domestic DreamTeam comp, League of Drunks, all year. He lost the final by 10 points (2,052 - 2,062). That's about a mark and a goal.

3. He lost 2 other DreamTeam Grand finals. Including in his own League (by 14 points) where he lost to, you guessed it, Richo.

4. And, maybe most painfully, he's a Don's supporter. (But he's a really nice bloke).

Now that's a bad week.

Leah took out third. She led for 7 weeks and then, bizarrely, started tanking. 3 weeks in a row she balked at putting her friday night tips in. I make that 3 losses. She lost by 3. I can't explain. She's always been on the cusp of winning this thing since she signed up about 5 or so years ago. Maybe it's an innate fear of greatness. She'll be back.

And so, what now? Straight into the finals for the top 8, that's what.  Those Drunks, watch for incoming emails. But overall, here's how it will work:

 

Finally: That mast-head... is it beautiful? Is it less than that? It's history, it's poignance, it's 21 years old. It's happy/sad. It's the first PunchDrunk Prize Night. 1992 a couple of years before my time and strictly speaking one year pre-PunchDrunk as the comp wasn't named til the following year, but all the important germs had been spread, the seed fertilised for perpetuity.
The Drunks spreading those germs? L-R: Kurtz, Mark Sofilas (gone), Trobby, Stavros and a 12 year old Bernie.

DREAMTEAM

I reckon you'd have to be pretty unlucky to have the highest number of points for the year, look like the probable champ all season, only to lose the final by 10 points. More-so having run-up last year. Meet last week's least lucky man: Andy 'Logger' Lloyd. But you either have, or will read more about him in the main post.

Congrats, and I have these para's around the wrong way, to Sammy. Long-time contender, first-time winner of the League Of Drunks invisible trophy. He's been thereabouts most of the 4 previous years of this comp and this year he's pulled it off. On top of that he also won by 14 in the league of his own, ('League Of Our Own', not kidding anyone with that subterfuge Sammy).

Congrats young Sam, you've been close in many Drunk facets several times, 'bout time you actually won something.

And a little lower down the food-chain, Coxy's Catfish fulfilled the destiny his Tigers couldn't quite achieve. He finished 9th.

IT'S A BIG WEEK IN FOOTY...

I'm not talking about anything remotely 'newsy' or controversial this week, cos right now it's all about PunchDrunk, glory, winning and cash.
To anyone who's been keeping their powder dry, I suggest you get it out and shake it all about this week, cos you've pretty-much run out of time to win this thing.
While technically maybe any of 10 Drunks could pull it off in a week with maybe as many as 6 games in some kind of doubt, you'd reckon the serious chances would be closer to the top 3, maybe 5. Maybe 2. Maybe 1.
Maybe.

It's a huge week especially for our leader Andy 'Logger' Lloyd. He's the front-runner everyone's got the hounds out for, he's in the DreamTeam Grand Final and he's an Essendon supporter so his heart will be all a-flutter. 

There's also still a lot of interest in the top 8 too. We're not done there yet.

Good luck to all hopefuls.

The Jackpot's up to $40 to finish the home & away season. And on that note, it's pay-up time for those (most) who haven't paid. (I haven't asked up til now other than for the pre-paid finals deal). I'll send bank and payment details through separately.

DREAMTEAM GRAND FINAL: WhatEverItTakes VERSUS JoelCoreyEnright

 After a season of to-ing and fro-ing, one thing is certain, we'll have a new League of Drunks Champion next year, with both previous champions being beaten out of it this round.

Sammy's always been thereabouts, without lifting the imaginary silverware, and Andy in his second (I'm pretty sure) season was runner-up last year, can he go one better this season?

Judging on the past few weeks, there's zero separating these two. Good luck both chaps.

In the bottom half we have Coxy's Catfish up against Ando's Hams. Coxy took out 9th last year, can he be a good Tiger and do it again this year?

Hiroshima mon amour...

Things haven't improved and you just sense the screw is turning, the spring tightening, ready to burst in a BIG way.
It wouldn't surprise to see both main brinks-men, Hird and Demetriou, removed and gooorn sooner rather than later. Hird sooner and the Fat Collector sometime after the dust settles. Maybe end of next season. Please.

Hey, we have to some new-dawn to look forward to, a ray of light to cheer us in the midst of this stench and putrefaction.

And so let's look away from the car-crash momentarily.


Is it just me? Probably. It usually is. But pretend this article isn't about my team because it's actually about something pretty close to conflict of interest and I've been banging on about this to anyone who'll listen (pretty much no-one) for over a year now.

What's wrong with this picture? No I don't mean the cropping, it's a critically loaded article on afl.com.au stating the the AFL shouldn't give the Dees a priority pick. Just more sneering stuff about the Demons, this time from the League towards one of its own stake-holders, now dressed up as an opinion piece direct from the League's own propaganda unit about what the League should do.

Does that seem wrong? Or at least odd? It's exactly the issue I've always had with the AFL being a major media contributor in reporting about, well, the AFL. Spin cycle outa-control.

For what it's worth, I don't entirely disagree with some of the sentiments in the piece, I don't want the Dees to get the Priority Pick either, and, in amongst the plain nastiness of the article, Barrett kind of touches on the reason why. Not his crap that that they don't 'deserve' one (it's for shit teams... what we're just the wrong flavour shit?) it's just that if they get one, they'll once again expect it will bring a messiah, rather than everyone having to work their own arses off to sort themselves out by themselves, for themselves.


A momentous day last sunday, I took the Demon-child to his first game.
Excited? Hell-yeah. 2 and a half and he already knows the words to a song he may never sing, already knows the number of his favourite player, despite the likelihood someone else will be sporting the '4' next year and Watts will be playing without the red to go with his blue.

Hugely excited. Mind you he did think the Dees played at Luna Park, a la Family Day, but rapidly readjusted his joy upon entering the hallowed Ground. "I'm at the G! I'm at the G!" Applauded and Go Dees'd loudly whenever anyone kicked a goal (by anyone, of course I mean Freo who were kicking the goals).

Pre-game, pre-reality. Before we didn't sing the song.

A fine day out. Do I feel guilty? Hell yeah. Supporting the Dees is character building. And, anyone who's been to the footy with me will know this is not always a good thing.


ENOUGH SELF-INDULGENCE, LET'S INDULGE IN YOU FOR  SMALL MOMENT:

Firstly Rob took out the jackpot last week. I think that's $60 to him, but will rewind the tape to be sure. Back to $20 again now.

Ladies and Gentlemen there are 2 ROUNDS LEFT. Do we have a winner already?
Andy 'Logger' Lloyd may or may not have much of a footy team left in a couple of weeks, but will he be rolling slow-motion, Underbelly-style in $1,000 of unmarked bills? Or can the fast-finishing Jim 'Richo' Richardson catch him on the line? Can Lee, the early-season leader get his head in front in a bobbing finish? Or will Cath surprise and usurp Leah as the first female Drunk Champion?

Why am I asking you? You don't know.

Logger also has the lowest margin score too of the 'likelies', except Leah, so anyone else will need to beat him by at least one at this stage.
And don't forget the lesser glory of just making the 8. It's feasible anyone as far down as 16 or 17 could make the finals, or even top 4 for that matter. Hell I'm sitting about 28th and I haven't given up yet.

THIS JUST IN: 

Guilt by association, I assure you.
Thank god I left the seedy side of town for this leafy neckathewoods.

DREAMTEAM

Preliminaries this week and getting so exciting you can almost smell it.
JCEs knocked Rob's Dons out last week, and the Champs made long-time ladder leaders Demonskis went out in straight sets.

This week the main interest revolves around the Cheesies v JCEs game, 2nd and 3rd highest scorers for the year. Both Cats fans as it happens. Jim finished second, but Sammy has scored more points.
The other game you'd expect Logger to sweep the Chimps aside fairly easily, but of course it depends who's players decide to score points this week. Maybe, for example, Dustbin Martin may score more than the 28 he pulled out after a full day's toil last week.

It's largely a battle of the Tigers fans in the bottom half. Fitting as they'll basically be fighting for 9th spot.
Total Tiger clash as Brenna and Coxy do battle. Brennas weren't far off the top 8 and may be able to grab that cherished 9th.
Dirk's bringing his tiger-foot lucky charm into battle with office mate and small cat supporter Ando, who's also finding a bit of form. I'm tipping the Big Cat.

WELCOME TO THE BEGINNING OF THE END...

Can I get anyone who's taken any joy out of this season to go and stand over there to the right of the room...

Hmm, just as I thought. Tigers supporters.

Personally I think we're looking at the ugly beginning of the end of what was the most superbly beautiful game. Well, the game can still beautiful if allowed to be played at its best. The competition, the league, the administration, the reporting is, however, fucked.

Essendon can go and shove their own self-interested arrogance up their hairy spotty arses. As long as they can negotiate that to their and the League's satisfaction of course. Who the fuck do these people think they are? Are you seriously telling me they've been conducting scientific experiments into how best to performance-enhance, but haven't been keeping track of who's had what? Are you telling me improved recovery doesn't count as performance enhancement?

I'm fully acquainted with Essendon arrogance. I understand they think they follow a different rule book, but what are Essendon fans telling themselves? They haven't done anything untoward? Or they should (of course) be allowed to do the untoward? I really don't understand. I do know this, if they manage to bully their way way into getting away with it, kiss the League good riddance.

At least we can rest easy their enhancements mean they're unlikely have any father/son selections in 18 years time.

Hirdy's TV mates and the Essendon media-mafia make me want to spew-up with their softly sympathetic attitude. But equally Caro Wilson, who's brought an increasingly nasty and particularly personal, judgemental and scorned perspective to footy can shove it too. She certainly understands the zeitgeist brought by social-media, people with a cock-eyed perspective shouting into an on-line vacuum. Black or white angry out-pouring where opposing views can be too easily ignored due to a lack of good old face-to-face.

Andrew 'Denial' Demetriou can take his Papal Bullshit back to Vegas or wherever the hell he's been. And for just good measure Jack 'Lazyboy' Watts can realise that 'it hasn't happened yet' largely because he hasn't made it happen, and we'd swap him for someone, anyone, useful at the drop of a hat.

Gotta go now, but can't wait for this horrid season to put to bed without any supper.

Oh yeah, here's this. No really big changes yet:

Firstly apologies to the bottom half, but I only have time fot the top half this week.
Where are we at? Top 2 won last week. Lloydy's boys had enough in the tank to take on and beat the Don Peptides. Geez that's a pretty loaded sentence for the past couple of years of AFL controversy.

Fellow leader Cheesies put the Demonskis in their place. These 2 can have a holiday in Byron or wherever the hell they feel like it this week.

The Champs had their 3rd win by 1 point (over 2 leagues) this year. to knock out the Rockies. Lucky? I dunno we were 'supposed' to win each of those games by between 150 and 200 points. My question: how do players who have averages of between 95 and 110 conspire to all score 58 week after week?

The JCEs finally got rid of the interlopers Terrif Trio.

Now: Dons against JCEs  and the all-demon clash of Demonskis v Champanzees. Who'll win? Depends who turns up. Or doesn't.

- Disgruntled of Hawksburn.

Round 18 is dead, long live Round 19.

I'm still suffering from NZ jetlag so haven't had time to absorb all the Drug madness this week. You'd have to say that Dean Robinson chap threw himself to the wolves. You just know all those blokes judging him post interview were Jimmy's mates, never was gonna get a fair appraisal from them was he.
I gotta say I met and had a chat with Mr Hird myself on a couple of accasions (he and his kids share a leafy park with me and the Demon child) to my eternal horror I came away really quite liking him. Seriously I hope I never meet Tony Abbott, just in case. Yeah, Hirdy's not a bad bloke but doesn't mean he's not guilty as sin.

I didn't have time to make the Tassy face dartboard as I was planning. Bastard got the world's biggest jackpot last week. That's $280 smackers coming his way. Assuming he's paid up of course...

And we have a new leader since we last spoke. Logger finally took advantage of Leah's truancy over the previous couple of weeks. Heaps of time for her or a few others to get back up there.

DREAMTEAM

This is the beginning of a whole new level of excitement for some, and the end for others (unless you consider going for the bottom half premiership not the end).

The big question this week, is "Can Brenna, or Kenny drag themselves into the 8?" That comes down to whether Brenna can knock off Sean's Catfish, and whether the 70's can beat the Chimps (I hope not cos we're playing off in 2 leagues this week, both with final 8 implications). But also they'll need Ians Well Heylow Boys to doff the terrific trio, which look s a little unlikely.

Can the Chimps or RockyMountainHigh make the top 4? Only if they each win by a heap and Dirk's Panzer burn Rob's drug induced Dons. So pretty much NO.

Finally, who will take out the minor premiership? Logger's Whatev's just have to beat Demonski, who's charmed run must almost be due to expire. Jim needs his Cheesies to beat the Rockies, AND by a fair bit AND Logger to get up. I'm backing Logger.

That was Round 16

You could be forgiven for thinking Leah's been tanking. The past 2 weeks she just didn't bother putting her friday night tip in. Over-confident, crazy or some obscure game-plan? Not sure, but she's still just hanging on, despite having come back to the pack by one game each of the past 2 weeks.
So that leaves us with this:

That top 8 is as loaded as I can remember, and while nothing much may happen in the next couple of weeks there are a few interesting rounds that may sort the chaff from the goats coming up after that though.

I'm almost prepared to admit I may be out of the running this year, so I'm off to NZ for a sulk next week. Don't expect to hear from me unless I rocket to the lead.

The jackpot is still jackpotting. We're in completely unfamiliar territory there. We may yet need to revisit the PunchDrunk constitution on this...

DREAMTEAM

3 rounds to go now, 7 places in the 8 decided, unless the arse falls out of the JCEs trousers. Brenna has a chance to help that happen and do his chances no harm at all if he can knock Sammy's boys off this weekend.

Other big games this round:
70cheers should stay alive for at least one more week with a gimme against the codehoppers.

All good Drunks will be rooting for Dirk this weekend against the terrific trio, the only ring-in team this year, uninvited, unwanted and clogging up 8th spot. Dirk's flaming Panzers can open the door right up for the good guys, Brenna and 70cheers (who's not technically one of us, but is invited and wanted).

In theory at least any of the top 7 could fill any of the top 7 spots, none is against another this week, so you'd think each would be favoured to win their game this week. Anyone who doesn't is could be looking down the barrel.

R15 out R16 in

Things got a tiny bit interesting in the fallout of last week's games.
Leah came back to the pack just a tad, Logger threw out a challenge, Richo commenced a bit of a looming motion, Stavros, the PM's besty, leapt from amidst the faceless men and women, and Ben showed that living waay outa town doesn't mean living way outa touch and lurched into 6th.

I think we've just lived through the first week of the year without a single sensationalist footy headline. Or did I miss it? Must be time time to bring out the cricket.

Of course we did have the convenient solution to potential uber-embarassment of J Watson, Essadon, being read out at the finale of the Brownlow this year... With the chance to win a second gone maybe the liklihood of keeping the first is strengthened?

Nightmare round that.
You'd think if a bloke, pretty much everybody's captain, was too sore to turn up to training the day before a game they might tweet all DreamTeamers and tell them? No.
Made for some interestingness at the coal-face anyway. Dud Vice-Captains thrust headlong into the harsh light of responsibility. Some pulled through some didn't.
While the Chimps VC held up ok (not half as well as Swan who was sitting in the pocket calling for it but got ignored after his feeble debut game last week) the bloke who came off the bench for S.O.G., Vlastuin, got 30 and has already been dropped into the Salvo's bin at the local 7-11. Result: universal Chimp losses.
Then there's the League's Timothy Leary and his snapped wish-bone... 16 DT points? get back on the needle mate and get back out there.

This week's fun and games of note:
Brennas have got to do away with Hamando to keep in touch, but Ando's not the easybeat he's been for the past few years and has a sneaky feeling about this year. Watch
RockyMountainHigh v Whatev's. The Big One. I don't know who Charlie is, but the data says he's batting a bit far up the list, while Logger's numbers suggest the exact opposite. As we know, this week at least, batting order means nothing, but it's Logger's boys for me.
70 cheers, far from the worst horse in the stable, and still in the running for the 8, takes on the pussycat elite in JoelCoreyEnright. Cats to get the cream I reckon. 
Rob's DP's have a great chance to drug-enhance their top-2 chances at the expense of the hapless Codehoppers. Odds $14.10 - $1.05.
Demonskis v Pitch's Princesses. Mark's Demonskis look to be another team whose price looks somewhat inflated. Will the bubble be burst this week by the PP's? Unlikely.Looking ahead I reckon justice should be dealt in the final round.
Dirk almost Panzed Demonski last week, now they're up against MARS stable-mate Jim's Cheesies. I reckon the Cheesies will have them on toast. I reckon...
Terrific Trio v Champanzees. On paper the Chimps have reasonable personel believe me. Game day just brings out the worst in them. Bad luck? Coach gotta go? They should beat the TT's, but there's 'should', and then there's reality.

ROUND 14 Wrap

Not a lot of verbage this week. Leah stil out in front, now 2 clear, and a distinct top 3 happening.

Great to see a small but dedicated bunch of rusted-on drunks at the Union last thursday. Not great to hang around and see those scum roll over the top of the Eagles.

Let me know now if you want to partake of the prepaid finals special offer. Stav and Logger have put their hands up so far.

That Jackpot is STILL there. $240 now, take it out or we'll have to throw it on the bar at the Prizegiving Pie Night.

DREAMTEAM

Another BIG week at the League of Drunks. New leader this week with Mark's Demonskis knocking off the Champs.

Basically there are heaps of great clashes this week. Brennas, terrific trio and 70 cheers all dicing for that last spot you'd reckon.
Everyone from 1st to 7th in the running for top spot.

This weeks Biggies:
- Rocky's have a big chance to jump further up the charts if they can smack Hamando. But Hamando did better last week.
- Brennas have their second life-defining clash in as many weeks, they fell to Rob's DonPeps last week and need to keep the 70's at bay to challenge for the 8.
- Whatev's to get a nice boost into the top 4 and maybe beyond on Heylow's back.
- Don Peptides should provide the JCEs with a fair challenge. JCEs looking to top spot, Don's to shore-up their spot in the 8.
- Dereks Panzeronfires meet the Demonski's, but it's Marks boys who are burning at the mo. Happy at the top of the tree.
- Terrific Trio, look to be keeping their spot in the 8 against Sean's Catfish.
- Second big truble game in as many weeks for the Champanzees against the magnificent Cheesemen. Cheese to be too good this week.

AFL WOMEN'S WEEK. PunchDrunk still leads the way.

OK, so having a woman leading is just too tricky for Australia as a whole. At PunchDrunk we're man enough and woman enough to delight in Leah forging the way. That, of course, doesn't mean we're not going to get the steak-knives out and try to Rudd her, we're not that bloody delighted. We're all in this thing to win it.

11 years ago, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, we press-ganged Caro Wilson into PunchDrunk as the sole female in the comp, I think she came last. The fact she was a hack had nothing to do with gender and everything to do with the fact she's, well, a hack. None-the-less let's celebrate evolution. This year, apart from Leah, we have Cath comfortably in the 8, and Lex, Kate and Titto well within striking distance of at least a finals berth.

I'm not sure whether the AFL's Women's Week is pure marketing tokenism (well actually I think I am) but at PunchDrunk we live, breath and drink gender equality. Let's raise a glass to it. Get us a beer will ya luv?

And so: pretty much straight lines from last week ti this... makes my job easier.
This week the jackpot is finally back on the table, sitting at $220.

This week is the week to nominate if you want to take the finals discount pre-paid. (well, prior to next week's games). More details here. Again.

Tonight's Gig Guide:

Did I say New Dawn...? This won't be as big as last nights big gig for sure, but for the first time ever we can have a live game on while we talk shizen.

UNION CLUB HOTEL, Cnr Webb and Gore St Fitzroy. From around 7.00.

Normal transmission resumes this week, full teams abound.
Some good games coming up, including top of the table red and blue affair of Demonskis v Champanzees. Demonskis have great form and bat deep, the Champs seem to be there only through a bit of good fortune and a bit of gravity-defiance.
Rob's DonPeps are up against the Brenna's. Can Rob cement a spot in the 8, or will he leave the ajar for Brenton?

ANOTHER NEW DAWN, LET'S DRINK.

Finally all the problems of the world are behind us.
The Dees will soon have another saviour, Adrian Bayley's locked up, St Stephen can (no doubt) prove his alleged innocence, and the Age has informed us that Tony Abbott will be the 'thinking person's PM'. And to think I was a small bit worried.

Last week, or the week before, I got my dates muddled. Seems I was looking in the wrong birthday book, but all is fixed now.

Here's the Drink:

Give me a clue if you can make it, I'll get you a chair. If Fordy can come we can even finally do the hand-over of The Cup for last year.

DRUNK ON A LADDER ROUND 12

As Leah puts a small slice of distance between herself and the rest of the pack, so there appears to be a definite top 3, and for that matter, top 8.

On that point, at the end of this round you should nominate, and pay, if you want to put your hand up for the 'pre-paid' finals+home&away price of $70 all inclusive for the year.

If you're new, or didn't quite get it last year, here's how it works:
If you reckon you're a certainty, or a fair chance to make top 8 this year, you can pay $10 now (along with your $60 for the season proper) and thereby gain a $10 discount on finals payment. If you don't actually make the finals stiff, you don't get your money back, but if you do you save $10.

Of course you can always wait til the home and away season is done and dusted and still play finals footy if you make the 8, but it'll cost you $20.

More details here: Prizemoney.

One more round of this bye craziness to go then bring on reality. Well, fantasy reality anyway.

This week's games:

Hamando v Heylow
It's the long-awaited, eagerly anticipated World War Ian, as Ian Ando does battle with Ian Stewart. Ando's put in a HUGE pre-season and come out bouncing. Pep-tides? You be the judge. My tip: Ian.

Don Peptides v 70cheersfor70years
Both coaches, like most of us, look like having decimated midfields this week. The 70s rucks may struggle, but can their backline hold it together? No one knows. Yet.

Pitches Princesses v RockyMountainHigh
Ladder position and form may be brushed aside by absenteeism v turnupism here methinks. Can the Rockies scratch together a competitive team? We're itching to know.

NADTCA v Brennas
A couple of comparatively full teams by the looks. Brennas on form.

Panzeronfire V WhatEverItTakes

You'd think this is Dirk's Panzers best chance to take Loggers boys. Both will be running thin teams, but as the Champs found out last week even a part strength Whatev's takes a bit of knocking off.

Terrific trio V JoelCoreyEnrights

JCEs are one of the true form teams of this comp, but the Terrif's seem to have been set for this week, like a Bart horse coming into Cup Week. Sammy's got rucks and forwards galore but looks to have a few too many holes in the middle, but can quality overpower quantity? An interesting question, if you're interested in such things.

Champanzees V CREATR

Champs look the goods here at this stage, but you never can tell. R10 we managed to contrive only 2 out at selection but had 3 last minute withdrawals, then a sub and sub-out, so no-one's safe in the evil land of the bye. Let that be a lesson.

Cheesedale V The Code Hoppers

The marvelous Cheesies look to have the Codehoppers on toast... on form, players available, superior dna, the works. They just may be the super race.

Catfish V Demonskis

Demonski's coach looks safe. They're having a grand year, and while Coxy's abroad continuing the Irish experiment, he may have just taken his eye of the ball for this weeks game.

DEES GET A SMALL WIN, AND LEAH THREATENS TO WRECK THE JOINT.

WARNING ANOTHER DEMON-FLAVOURED RANT FOLLOWS. PLEASE IGNORE FIRST HALF AT WILL:

Good to see the Dees get a small win this week. Not on the field but in the ongoing battle against the media.

Fun to see the hacks and the hyenas camped in the cold all day outside Dees HQ while the board warmed their toffy arses by the Longroom fire. And for what? Nuthin'.

Oh Hell hath no fury. No headline, only a non-headline. A horde of journo's days wasted for nought. 5 bitter articles full of moral indignation in the Age alone. One even referenced 'many respected media football commentators' with a link to a Caro article. Ha bloody Ha.

The problem was the board didn't obey the endless media prompts and ditch the guy (as they were encouraged to do last time with Dean Bailey, thereby giving the lazy scribes another cheap story).
Of course that previous media-sponsored sacking is now used as part of the journo's evidence of MFC's pathetic rabble-dom, lack of loyalty. It's true they are an undeniable rabble of course, but go fark yourselves fellas.

And take Kennett with you. His most recent pieces of advice include merging the Dees with the Roos or moving them interstate... Now he wants the job to actually do it.

RANT ENDS.

And now, here's the news:

Leah is in serious danger of destroying the joint. Of course I'm paraphrasing Sydney's Queen-Bitch. No, not Lee, Phil, Juzzy or Paul, or any of the Swannettes. But the piece-of-shizen shock-jock and his attitude to female ladies of the opposite sex. Yes, he who solicits under-cover bobbies in London toilets, that rabble-rouser of Sydney gutterazzi, the ubiquitous West-Sydney/Shire bogans and flag-wearing nazi-fodder..... oops, I guess that turned into something of a rant too...

... Anyway, back to the point: Leah has been thereabouts every year since she joined and once again is showing distinct form. She's led momentarily before but could she be the Julia Gillard of the Drunk. I think we're ready.

Oh, and the jackpot's off the agenda for the next 3 week cos there are only 6 games each week, but when it's back on it's up to $220!

Here's the pre-season catch-up I promised you some months back. Hey it's late, but at least there's a whole heap more to talk about. So come along and talk about it.

Please come or Luke might get cross: like this. Interesting side note, check the scores...

NB: The date is Thursday 27th, not 28th as originally stated. Thanks to Stanlee for pointing out the error in my ways. If there's one thing The Drunk needs it's a proofreader. Not to mention an internal editor.

As an even playing field DreamTeam is harder to read than the 12th green at Royal Melbourne.
For example, here are the Champs sitting high and mighty atop the Drunk tree while in Loggers League, against many of the same coaches and teams, they are languishing at 14th below all of Demonskis, the Whetevahs, Cheesies, Brennas, DonPeps and the Pitchesses. Based on points scored they'd be 6th and 7th which is why the DT competition season is 17 rounds long, not 8.

And it's about to get a helluva lot more dicey as we enter BYE BYE BYE land.
Is there a way to deal with having your team pool third-imated for 3 weeks in a row? Maybe, maybe not... Do you write off one round? Take a middle line and cross your fingers?
Stay tuned, cream floats, but sometimes turds do too.

ROUND 8 WRAP: RANT-FREE...

No particular gripes this week.
I caught up with some Drunk Tigers for the BIG GAME last week in a long-standing tradition. I can't say with head held high, but I did at least come out of the bar at the end of half time this week.

The ladders:
Lee is still making the running and not a lot of movement detected this week.
Richo lurched back into the 8, Harv got back on the Scenic Railway.

Dreamteam has a familiar look to it again this week too. Marc's Demonski's still sitting on the top perch, holding out some quality in Logger and Richo's Cheesies. Watch this space.

Jackpot's up to $180 now. Nice

NIGHTMARE on BRUNTON Ave.

Sorry for the absence for the past few weeks I've been in an induced coma. Self induced.

I keep hoping that when I wake up this will all have been a truly horrible dream.
Like the one where you turn up to school and as soon as you get there you realise you're still in your PJs.
Or the one where your pants keep falling down. And you forgot your undies.
Or the one where your bottom jaw slides up over your top teeth and keeps going til it's swallowed your whole head.
Or the one when your footy team is shit and getting shitter, and you realise not only will they not win a flag in your lifetime, but they won't win one again. EVER. In fact they won't even be around for your whole lifetime.

Well, following the Dees is like all the above combined.

But it's ok, cos we have some geniuses out there who constantly keep reminding us. Why, just yesterday that wonder-scribe Rohan Conolly revealed that......... (that was a drum-roll) .... The Tigers are better than the Dees!

And a couple of days prior St Caro, Our Lady of Immaculate Righteousness, took time out from dancing on our freshly dug grave gleefully in her orthopedics to ridicule the joint in print. Again. How many times is that this year without a single kb of new News? She has a style, and she gonna use it.

They're right of course.

But despite the press reports we keep turning up. Sort of. The fact that anybody was allowed to turn up on mothers day, 4.20 on a sunday, to watch a team totally without hap. Who fail to put in, not week after week, but year after year. Decade after after decade. Against a plastic-pressing of a footy team from bumfuck Queensland is a goddam miracle I reckon.

Oh, and that footage they show week after week of The Members heading home at half time?
They're not going home, they're going to the fucking bar. And I've been there since halfway through the first qurater and I'm not coming out til this thing's fucking over.

Now to the news:

Drunk on a ladder

Coxy and Alex were looking jackpots in the face and writing their acceptance speeches right up til... ooh about halfway through the first quarter of the Blues Saints game last weekend. Damn shame, Blues losing. Again. Anyway the money is safely tucked away and that little clock thing in the top right hand corner keeps ticking over. $160 now. That's about US$78 this week.

Lee has pulled something out and looks like heading for the hills, or way out West Sydney where he'll have to vote for the snakeskin man and take up arms against boatpeople. Come back to us Lee before it's too late.

DREAMTEAM
Seriously weird goings-on the past 2 week in the world of Dreamteam.
Before each of the past 2 rounds started the Chimps were chalked in for scores over 2000, only for all our guns to misfire and come home with scores around half their averages.
Not happy (you can probably see a theme developing here), but some obviously are:

I HATE ESSADUN

Seriously, if I hear any more of this Bombers apologist stuff I'll spew up.

"Let's not judge until the findings are found" be damned. "Little James is innocent til found guilty"... bullshit.
Yeah, I'm looking at you Mr. Plasticface Newman, and you others.

Where were you bastards when my beautiful Dees, the league's punching bag, were being witch-hunted, hung, drawn and quartered by the wicked witch of Spencer St?
Joining in, that's where. While we were apparently guilty til proven innocent. And all followed up with a quick, convenient reinterpretation of an 'innocent' finding to mean 'guilty'.

But the Essadun story keeps slipping from the pages where possible, until some pesky outsider comes up with some dirt. Why did it take Age no-namers Nick McKenzie and Richard Baker to come up with the 'James Hird shoots up story? Why did it take Roy Masters the crusty Sydney NRL writer to come up with the story about Essadon and the AFL trying to broker a deal with ASADA to get the Dons off scott-free?

Why? Cos just about every other fucker at the Age is a Bombers supporter. That's why.

So Rohan Conolly, stop making daggy little videos and write something instead, I'm sick of looking at  your smug half-crooked smirk.
And Essadun, come on it's time to take your medicine... lose your licence, leave the league and give the Dees the 4 points they rightly deserved from last weekend's game.

Here's this:
New leader; Cath From-The-Bush (Bob Brookmeyer) has leapt to the lead. The previous top two suffered a little (Nick) and a lot (Harv, who just broke the world record in falling through the floor... 2nd to 33rd... now, that takes some beating).
Jesper and Lex were heading the other way almost as fast. In fact the amount of movement this week has made my lovely chart a big mess. Thank god for Matt and his perfectly horizontal line.

I HATE FOOTY

I hope you're all enjoying this season more than me. Shizen team, shizen tipping. Looks like a very long season coming up.

There is good news though, PunchDrunk is alive and thriving. We have a world record 40 Drunks this year.
We've picked up 5 new tipsters for season 2013, and lost 3 I believe.
In addition to the round 1 Rising Star nominee, young Nick Materia who's taken off out of the blocks like a Sandown Park rabbit, we have Alexis 'Lex' Bebbington, Megan 'Titto' Tittensor, Bob Catter and Paul 'Sydneysider' Hoyne.

Welcome one and all. I'll organise a PunchDrink to kick the dew off the grass, blow the froth off the beerand get a group hug happening. Real soon.

Here's the thing:



That's it for now I'm afraid, I'm still getting over last Sunday at the G.
If you keep reading the posts below you'll just get caught up in 2012 and you may get woozy.